Goals!

This blog is intended to bring hope. I pray that people find what they are looking for here, and that they are able to understand where I'm coming from.

I have received such a response of love and support. I've decided that I will try to update this blog daily, or as often as needed. I feel that the journey/battle is daily, and it's a very real one for me. But one that can only be overcome with Christ's love.

I FINALLY got the opportunity to talk with my bishop yesterday. It was truly an amazing experience, because I was so nervous going into it. On top of that I had been trying to meet with him for weeks. It just never seemed to work out. Work got in the way, he wasn't taking appointments, or he was out of town. I know that the adversary did not want what happened last night, but it did. I am so thankful for that.

Anxiety had been growing all day. I started the day by going to the temple grounds and reading scriptures. I found what I was looking for in Mosiah 14: 11 "He shall see the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied; by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities"

As I went into my bishop's office I felt a sudden peace. We talked very briefly about my experiences over the last three years, and more about going forward. I told him that I have forsaken and I feel remorse. The more we talked the more it felt like the load off my back was lifted. I felt light as a feather, something that I haven't felt in so long. I left it all on his table and walked out standing taller than ever.

Some of the goals that I have set for myself are to receive the Melchizedek priesthood, go through the temple, and to receive my patriarchal blessing. I have, since last night, added more goals. To bring hope to the many people out there that struggle with same sex attraction. That they may realize the love that Heavenly Father has for them, and that they can overcome this.

He has a plan for all of us, and this trial is just part of His plan. I can just imagine in the premortal existence as they were telling us the struggles and trials that we would endure in this life. When it came time to take them on, this particular struggle didn't have many volunteers and many were hesitant to raise their hands. It's not just a substance or a battle with temptation. It's a battle with your own body. The body that Heavenly Father created for you and it is working against you. There is a reason for it though...

If we weren't able to overcome it, then why would our Father give it to us? It is truly mastering the natural man. A trait that is required for celestial glory. People will fall, but it is those that overcome this that will receive many great gifts. I'm not sure what those gifts are, but I know that He has something special in store for me. I have been promised it since I was a baby.

As I finished with the bishop last night, he told me that I would be able to achieve my goals by August 2010. It was so much sooner than I had thought. I was worried about disciplinary councils and taking years to go through the repentence process. I feel that I have been blessed by studying my scriptures and giving service to those that need it.